Women And Men

It has become a pitiful cliche that women feel un forefendably attracted to men who atomic number 18 completely scathe for them. This leads to other overarching platitudes that permeate our social interactions. All men are pigs. becoming guys finish last. The frustration over these seemingly impenetrable absolutes builds and builds until it bursts in a flurry of Cosmo quizzes. Whats going on, and stern it be remedied?You all populate someone whos been affected by this paradox, and probably have encountered it erstwhile(prenominal) yourselves. A friend of mine recently had her birthday ruined by her boyfriend. He accompanied her and many of her friends on a trip to fast one Mountain. After disappearing for hours, she finally found him. He was asleep in her car in the parking lot, which he had broken into in orderliness to nap inside, the ideal resting place. His only present to her was a card. They are legato together today.I couldnt have written a more ridiculous scenario m yself. (Well, I could, and it would involve a lobster playing trombone.) be women attracted to guys like this because somehow the qualities of meanness and insensitivity are inherently suitable?The answer is no. Granted, on that point is a positive correlation amidst the degree of a males lack of compassion and his skill to engender the attention of the opposite sex, but as any of you go to bed who have taken a statistics course, a correlation does not make causation. There is an underlying factor that produces this result.That factor is power. What women seek is someone who is powerful, who can control any situation and make social functions go his way. From an evolutionary standpoint, this instrument women are far more likely to be attracted to the guy who kills the charging king of beasts than the guy who paints one on the cave wall.If there is one thing that jerks certainly have, it is power. Women perceive them as having great security and influence. What they often peter out to notice is that this power is derived by meanness and selfishness. Conversely, kindness and selflessness are perceived as signs of weakness.I do not recommend, however, that women try to shape comfort in the arms of the spineless.Spineless people arent necessarily kind. They only when possess too much cowardice to act on their waste impulses. Kindness is not the absence of malice rather, it is the active pursuit of the surfeit of the needs of others above ones own.It takes far greater potence to pursue good instead of evil, as the odds are load against the good. A jerk demonstrates his strength by dominating other males through force and/or humiliation. A kind man will be far subtler. My grandfather once gave me some advice on the subject. He said, A great man doesnt tell people how great he is. If he is truly great, then they will know it.Clearly something separates the boys from the men, but how to define that separation? Rudyard Kipling comes fairly close in his poem, If. I pass around it to you to read it it will be two minutes well spent. When it comes to how a male treats a woman, I have found a interpretation that seems to distinguish the mature from the immature.A boy sees his woman as a comfort. She is beautiful, charming, intelligent, etc. The boy will recognize all of these positive attributes as valuable, and therefore worth preserving through his best efforts. He does not fill out her for herself, only for how she makes him feel about himself.A man will treasure his woman. He will cherish her, support her, and devote the best fibers of his creation to her. This is based on sacrifice and love, rather than on possession.A treasure, noun, is an object worth keeping. But a relationship should not be a museum in which a male showcases his best piece. To treasure, a verb, implies upkeep and care, inscription and perseverance, love and honor. This is surely the measure of a man.In trying to avoid sub-standard men, women often se ttle into another relationship sand trap, the older man. By older, I refer to an age they should be together. At the same time, our wants essential be tempered with cognizance. The plenty of fish in the sea fiction still applies to the beginning of a relationship. Squeeze a few tomatoes in advance you pick one out.Most of us arent out there looking for husbands and wives just yet, so mayhap it is adaptive that the qualities that make a good spouse are not those we necessarily value in a college relationship. On the other hand, high school is over, so perhaps its time for the homo erectus in the varsity jacket to range goodbye.I find it disheartening that women, seeking powerful men, would rather go steady Lex Luthor than Superman, or at least are more likely to fall for Luthor initially. Of course, not all guys fit neatly into the categories of heroes and villains.In truth, we are neither. Ladies, make it us the litmus test for selfishness. A man should be a pillar of strength to his woman, but he should be made of something bullet than cold stone.